Numbers

I did not want to....I sat in that parking lot for more than 20 minutes, arguing on the phone as to why I shouldn't even bother to try, that it will amount to naught, that my efforts will never be enough for myself...yet I made myself get out of that care and my butt into the gym.

Afterwards, did I feel better? No. Honestly, I felt worse. My throat was on fire, I felt cramped under my neoprene sweatsuit and a tad sick after coming out into the cold, drenched in sweat. This morning, I felt accomplished, though.

During my commute home, I was thinking about my conversation on the phone, about my struggle with the stupid numbers on the scale, how long that fight has been going on... 12 years old is too young to be worrying about one's weight or size, yet there I was, struggling internally as my chest began to grow and I grew ever more awkward in my skin.

As a self-reminder, and to those struggling with their own body image and weight - while we may have goals in mind to be at a healthier weight or to tone up our bodies, that number does not define who you are as a person. It may assist in helping us to evaluate if we are within a healthy weight range, but it does not make us a better or worse person for being 5 pounds underweight or 20 pounds overweight.

We are all a work in progress.

xxxx