Thursday, January 26, 2017

Motivation and Will

On this journey on which I've been embarking in order to return back to a healthier mindset and build the body confidence. Self-motivation when it comes to losing weight the "right" way aka starting healthy habits, exercising, and eating for fuel, not fasting for punishment....

Integrating new wardrobe pieces and clearing out the old things that either don't fit or don't make me feel good is a great way of metaphorically cleansing the mind as well.

This isn't the cliched New Year, New Me song and dance, of which I'm sure we know so well, but rather clothing myself in some new clothes mixed with the ol' faithful pieces - blending the old and new.

Shop Priceless has some great basics with a twist, such as their Eris tank with a halter accent. And totally took advantage of the big sale from American Eagle for some new black pants for work with a matching tan pair.

Putting in those long hours at work + homework on top of homework may seem like it leaves little time for sleep or fun, let alone the gym, but it's only made me better able to balance my schedule in order to make time to create those much needed endorphins at the end of a hard, sweaty session.

Kick Start may have become my alternative go-to pick-me-up when I don't have time to stop for a caffeine addiction a real thing? If that's one of my few vices, then I'm not too bad off.

Long locks with a tailored pants & pumps: can't go wrong. R2 is giving his quiet approval beside my dust-framed visage.

Nine West seriously makes the best classic pointed-toe pumps! I found these navy beauts when I was still at the old apartment, thrifting at the local little shop. While the insides saw a little wear & tear, the outers still remain pristine and one of my favorite pair.

A new pair of trainers can help in motivating one to get their butt back to the gym. Happy feet want to move!! Took these puppies to Planet Fitness after a wildly active shift at work. Blazer for business appeal + trainers for mobility.

The will to get myself to PF still remains a struggle. Part of the fight is getting there with an internal struggle occurring while I fret in the parking lot, feeling embarrassed or unmotivated to take those few, cold steps into the facility.

Superman has helped with that struggle - I often find it much easier to get out right away if he's training me as I know he's going to kick my butt and help distract my anxiety of merely working out in front of people.

Seeing progress pictures helps to keep me going as well.  These photos were taken three years apart. I was embarrassed by so many of my photos after I came back from studying abroad as I was so heavy...I had reached my heaviest point when I came back: 144.5 pounds.

I was ashamed of how I looked and more importantly, how I felt. After spending three of the most life-changing months of my life abroad, I was overweight and rather depressed, forced to find that drive to get me back on track.

Fast-forward from Xmas 2013 to Xmas 2016: down 30lbs with a goal of losing another 10.

I find it incredible how 13lbs can make a difference as well. Summer 2014, when I was running at least 4-5x a week versus January 2017.

Plateaus happen. Sometimes we have to trick our minds into getting creative in order to dig our ways out of the ruts and build ourselves back up, focusing on our goals and on the happy side effects, such as that sweet euphoria after a good weightlifting or HIIT session.


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Introvert City

An ambivert is someone who displays both qualities of introverts and extroverts. At times, these individuals need that alone time in order to recuperate and recharge as an introvert does, severing themselves from the physical outside world while sometimes allowing the virtual world a sense.

Although ambiverts may exude both types of qualities, introverts may show extroverted qualities from times to times. Much like other labels, there are stereotypes or "myths," as they are referred to in this lovely article on introverts, which go beyond the characteristics which categorize someone under a particular label.

Perhaps it is due to introverted tendencies which account for my love of solo travel. While others will limit themselves to only doing something if they have a partner in crime, I feel quite capable of running amok on my own - not that I am downplaying the fun that can be had when one has a fellow traveler, not at all.

Alone time grants one the needed mental boost in order to deal with the outside world. Sadly, I've found there still remains a stigma of doing things alone. The article profiles this quite well and brings to mind two questions the author asks: why is it still seen as socially unacceptable to do things by yourself and why is it always presumed that people don't wan to do things alone?

However, introverts will make time for good friends and support them full-heartedly. So happy I got to see my friends in Paradrei and Small Town Titans take the stage! A rock-n-roll show warrants some RnR attire ;)

Friend time is just as important as that alone time...solid, quality social time is not a terrible thing and can be much needed for a different kind of recharge.

While being alone is a key differentiator of introverts, Loki is one presence I never get tired of having. When I've been around people for too long, he provides the perfect companionship without the pressure of having to talk or act in any way at all...


Sunday, January 8, 2017

Content and safe

At times, I feel all too bogged down by the mundane repetition of the daily work grind and school, having to remind myself of the greater picture of the end is beginning to seem like a great rut with the same outlook on each day: same sh!t, different day. So many times, I have similar thoughts on a repeating loop on my brain. Everything is beginning to look the same to me: idiots with their idiocy as far as these eyes can see.

I'm slowly coming to the realization I'm becoming content with not living my life to the fullest, which, in itself, is a genuine nightmare. This, above nearly all, is one of my greatest fears: to waste my life not living it to its fullest, slaving away at work, merely putting in my hours as I make better use of my efforts to do well in school. While I do still care about what I do at my job, it's increasingly more difficult to not feel discontent as the rat race to catch up and be on alert 24/7 with minimal feeling of satisfaction or meaning...

Kitty snuggles amid the schoolwork and inconsistent work schedules make it all a little better - taking care of my peanut make these current feelings of stagnation a bit more better {and certainly more entertaining}.

He's keeping me motivated as I mix up my days with an increased effort towards working out...better habits to better myself and to help cope with the feelings of plateauing in life.

Purple hair, bold brows, and Bambi eyes. Ready to tackle this new year and work towards that greater picture and a more fulfilling life.

Loki is kind enough to help me look for my sanity when it seems as though insanity is kicking in from working odd hours and dealing with odd problems, day in and day out.


Monday, January 2, 2017

2k17 & auld lang syne

Quite a trip, 2016 has proved to be.

Thankful for a chance to relax and reflect upon the mayhem of the past year - oh, how quickly it has come and gone, taking with it extraordinary and brilliant people, robbing the world of innocent lives from malicious attacks and natural disasters, and instilling a great sense of unrest and insecurity with the new US President Elect.

However, 2016 has brought with it many joys as well. As we struggle to accept those things which we cannot change, we can celebrate personal accomplishments and not let the hatred of the world consume or change our hearts. {Plus, I'd rather remain non-political for the sake of sensitivity}

Took a last two days of the year to see friends and hold Loki bear close {despite his initial resistance, he loves snuggles}. 

Regardless of one's position of the world, we can all agree this is not always a bright, sunshine-y world in which we live. May 2017 prove a more loving, tolerant year. In the meantime, hold your loved ones close, as much as you can and don't be afraid, but remain steadfast and resilient among the chaos.

Part of growing up is having an inevitable revolving door through which many people will circle with the good ones choosing not to head back out. Grateful for being able to make memories with wondrous people. Boys and faux friends come and go, but friends {especially Katie} always have your back. As Bey would say: tell 'im {or 'em}: boy, bye.

Looking forward to a year of not only promoting love and acceptance, but of self-love and self-care - we have to learn to take care of ourselves in order to continue take care of those we love.

Working on my self-esteem one day at a time and this body-hugging wrap dress certainly helps with that. Intermittent fasting and pushing the envelope on my social anxiety in order to tackle the gym one sweaty session at a time - social anxiety does not have to define you nor detract from your goals.

At the end of the day, when the noise of daily life in the world is too much, love bugs such as Loki are there to share the burden of the accumulation of too much stimuli and strike a lovely look of disdain for the camera to emulate the necessary need for a cool-down and unwinding. {He could also be upset with the current Netflix binge....}

Looking forward to more snuggle sessions with my favorite bum and more side shade.

Happy New Year!