Motivation and Will

On this journey on which I've been embarking in order to return back to a healthier mindset and build the body confidence. Self-motivation when it comes to losing weight the "right" way aka starting healthy habits, exercising, and eating for fuel, not fasting for punishment....

Integrating new wardrobe pieces and clearing out the old things that either don't fit or don't make me feel good is a great way of metaphorically cleansing the mind as well.

This isn't the cliched New Year, New Me song and dance, of which I'm sure we know so well, but rather clothing myself in some new clothes mixed with the ol' faithful pieces - blending the old and new.

Shop Priceless has some great basics with a twist, such as their Eris tank with a halter accent. And totally took advantage of the big sale from American Eagle for some new black pants for work with a matching tan pair.

Putting in those long hours at work + homework on top of homework may seem like it leaves little time for sleep or fun, let alone the gym, but it's only made me better able to balance my schedule in order to make time to create those much needed endorphins at the end of a hard, sweaty session.

Kick Start may have become my alternative go-to pick-me-up when I don't have time to stop for a Monster....is caffeine addiction a real thing? If that's one of my few vices, then I'm not too bad off.

Long locks with a tailored pants & pumps: can't go wrong. R2 is giving his quiet approval beside my dust-framed visage.

Nine West seriously makes the best classic pointed-toe pumps! I found these navy beauts when I was still at the old apartment, thrifting at the local little shop. While the insides saw a little wear & tear, the outers still remain pristine and one of my favorite pair.

A new pair of trainers can help in motivating one to get their butt back to the gym. Happy feet want to move!! Took these puppies to Planet Fitness after a wildly active shift at work. Blazer for business appeal + trainers for mobility.

The will to get myself to PF still remains a struggle. Part of the fight is getting there with an internal struggle occurring while I fret in the parking lot, feeling embarrassed or unmotivated to take those few, cold steps into the facility.

Superman has helped with that struggle - I often find it much easier to get out right away if he's training me as I know he's going to kick my butt and help distract my anxiety of merely working out in front of people.

Seeing progress pictures helps to keep me going as well.  These photos were taken three years apart. I was embarrassed by so many of my photos after I came back from studying abroad as I was so heavy...I had reached my heaviest point when I came back: 144.5 pounds.

I was ashamed of how I looked and more importantly, how I felt. After spending three of the most life-changing months of my life abroad, I was overweight and rather depressed, forced to find that drive to get me back on track.

Fast-forward from Xmas 2013 to Xmas 2016: down 30lbs with a goal of losing another 10.

I find it incredible how 13lbs can make a difference as well. Summer 2014, when I was running at least 4-5x a week versus January 2017.

Plateaus happen. Sometimes we have to trick our minds into getting creative in order to dig our ways out of the ruts and build ourselves back up, focusing on our goals and on the happy side effects, such as that sweet euphoria after a good weightlifting or HIIT session.

xxxx

Yeah, I guess that's my church

Two days. Two concerts. Several great artists.

Part of Sissy's 30th birthday prezzie in April was a screenshot of the tickets purchased to see her all-time favorite artist: Keith Urban. She's met him, seen him countless times, and this time, he was taking the stage again, and with Maren Morris and Brett Eldredge.

Girl has some pipes! Played my faves and some I didn't know :)

Mr. Eldredge had some great visuals, but nothing over-the-top, keeping the show primarily about the raw talent he possesses. Strong performance!

Oooooh yes! Sissy and I were singing/screaming along when he took the stage.

Stupid boy...my sissy's favorite song and his concluding piece.

I love the hype at country concerts. {Hate me if you must.} People are typically quite pleasant, a bit rowdier, and overall makes for a great time.

The next night, Superman and I were Baltimore-bound to see one of my all-time favorites: The Pretty Reckless!

They performed at the Rams Head Live with openers: Them Evils and Holy White Hounds. The room was packed with people, but we managed to get some decent floor space and had a lovely view when Taylor took center stage.

My gurrrrrl!

Superman and I were a tad bit tired the next day, but all worth it. Taylor put on quite the show and I was feeling good in my attire, dressed to the nines for this babe.

Looking forward to future adventures as I've missed Baltimore!

xxxx

Marathoners and their spectators

Richmond, VA

I was ecstatic to be cheering on my uncle at his most recent marathon in the quaint little town in Dixieland.

We stayed at the Quirk Hotel downtown, v. mod former department store-turned decadent night quarters {posh yet?}.

It was, indeed, quirky {too much?} with its character-rich building and minimalistic décor. The shower was pretty rad, too, with the European-style half open, half glass-enclosed and it had a nice, warm stream with just enough pressure that it felt almost like a light massage on my ever knot-infested shoulder blades.

For more info.

Unc did well - he kept his pace steady, not pushing too hard for any record, but wanted to complete for another inked tally. Man's got ambition and a strong self-will for his running...it's his way of breaking free from the world.

We all have our methods of sanity retention...

Such a beautiful day out! A tad brisk, but minimal wind and so many people cheering on loved ones and strangers! I love the atmosphere of everyone coming together to support others.

Naturally, I was all bundled up in flannel & style. Not pictured: two pairs of socks, heavy scarf, gloves...all of which were stripped off after having to run back to the run at the conclusion of Tom's run so we could hold the room while he showered.

Best of traveling: seeing new places and knowing my love bug is waiting for snuggles when I return.

xxxx

Sass and Class

Sometimes, a girl needs to treat herself, particularly when life begins to get a little hairy {metaphorically speaking, of course}.

Shop Priceless had a great sale on some of its items, which, naturally, entailed a wee bit of indulgent spending on a few wardrobe-enhancing pieces. Their ribbed dresses are the bees' knees and I quite fell in love with the pointed, reflective-toe flats I had selected and a simple choker.

Taking myself out for a nice quiet lunch at one of my favorite restaurants for a late-birthday treat provided an excellent occasion to show off the hard work I had been putting into the gym, as well as aid in the enhancement of body confidence, an ever-going practice I have been forcing myself to continue.

Similar design: Sandy Basic Dress Set

I'm diggin' the olive green color, which stands out well against my vampire tan. I much prefer black, but a little bit of color won't hurt...I guess.

Mummy hooked me up with this lovely green cardi from Old Navy, as well as different styles in charcoal, black, and white - four new cardis = 4x happiness.

My love of cardigans still remains strong after many, many moons. Simple and cozy. Dressed up or down, one cannot go wrong no matter the season.

A little bit of sass is not inherently "wrong," especially when it is this particularly sassiness that is holding your sanity together while the chaos only intensifies with the increasing burdens which come along with going to school while working both a full-time and part-time position.

My little lunch with myself offered some loner loser time of self-reflection on my mere 24 {relatively short} years and how I want to shape the upcoming year{s} of life in order to be more positive and achieve the goals for which I have set for myself. I've also come to the epiphanous revelation that my level of sass has only increased/improved with age.

With time slipping away too quickly, long days at work often becoming more challenging knowing that I have a pile of projects due professionally and academically, sometimes it's that tongue-in-cheek attitude that can truly carry us through the day and be the stones upon which we depend to see us through the crumbling positive outlook.

xxxx

Days Gone By: An Autumnal Hymn

Another month gone by in the blink of an eye as day after day blurred their lines between work, school, and {some} play. Wishing I had more eloquent words for such the beautiful {and my favorite} month.

Thankfully, I was able to see friends, hang out with kitties, destroy my hair try out a new hair color....or a few....amid the chaos of trying to pack up my life to move in with my favorite person by the end of the month: my sissy.

My iPhone 6 is holding up for the most part, so at least I can provide a highlight of October's song in pictures...

A night on the town with beautiful friends: much needed.

As much as I was digging the lighter locks, my hair was beyond brittle and threatening to snap off {and some even pulled off as I attempted to comb it}. 

A purple-y hue: much better.

When in doubt, get your thigh-highs out. Oxford paired with high-waisted shorts and my trusty thigh-highs for a night of people-watching at the bar.

Mr. Theo was thrilled for one of our last family portraits before he went back to my Gramps.

A breather in between hauling my stuff...new mirror: new selfie.

A housewarming gift to brighten up the new place :)  ...soon eaten and massacred by Loki. 

Loki, settling into our new home. My handsome guy took the move quite well; as more and more things left the old apartment, he had more space to roam around with Theo.

Early birthday gift from sissy, which came in handy for enjoying an ice-cold beer from Hoegaarden. We'll be making use of these!

Birthday adventures soon to come {with more bravado and imaginative narrative}. While I truly am loving school, it does keep me busy and leaves less time for the extracurricular hobbies and sleep.

xxxx

Social Butterflies

As mentioned several times before, a healthy work-life balance is key to enjoying life while being a productive member of society {and earning a means to pay the bills}.

Luckily, after spending a near eternity during the daylight at work, I was able to escape {and maintain constant contact with my employees} and spend some quality time with lovely people and join in the celebration of a dear friend.

Feeling more confident, I donned the new wrap dress I had purchased upon impulse during a quick stop to the mall after an interview {sadly, I was not asked back} and before I met up with a friend for lunch.

When you feel confident, rock it and it will follow through. Sometimes a new dress is all it takes to keep the nasty comments and vile words of self-doubt at bay inside the confines of the mind.

Foolish me, thinking my thick brows were on point, but I do believe Mr Kiscadden's take the cake on the brow game.

The night on the town in Lancaster proved to be a much needed getaway, a mini reunion of LVC alum, even more familiar faces than the previous party. Granted, anxiety was a tad high as I fervently awaited the arrival of Chelsea and Elliott, but lessened as the night went on - social anxiety is craptastic at times.

Heels, a bold lippy, and a tasteful, yet sultry dress. Pushing the envelope on comfort level, but worth it for the self-wow factor and confidence boost.

Those squats and eating healthier are paying off ;)

xxxx

Work, Sleep, {sometimes} Eat

Summer seems to be, once again, slipping past as it did last year. Is this what life is like when you're old?? Perhaps working 45-58 hrs a week does that to one. Summer feels halfway over already yet I know we still have July and August ahead of us.

Orange is the New Black partner

I'm finding, at times, to have little motivation to do much at all in my spare time except sneak in extra snuggles with Loki and sleep as I continue to go to work sleep-deprived and anxiety-ridden. Being interim manager for a week with a crew that was disturbingly short across the board played its toll on me, meaning sleep took a nosedive but I guess that was good for my diet since it primarily consisted of Monster Zero and the occasional stir-fry.

Recently, I've found motivation a struggle to pursue - quite uncharacteristically of me. Bitterness and regret wreak havoc with my psyche, fueling the feelings of stagnation and entrapment, as well as disappointment in myself for not pushing harder to be {employed} somewhere happy and fulfilling.

The job-hunting has begun again and I'm leaping at every potential job posting which comes my way in the hopes it may be "the next great adventure," providing a career path, not simply a job & paycheck. The current job has only flared my usually-suppressed and mild temper to that of a great dragon, ready to lunge at its next victim who so comes near its treasure aka easily irked.

Hopeful that something will open up, albeit I feel quite trapped with the recent {high} pay raise. The nice bump I received is nothing to sneeze at, but at what cost does one sell their sanity, happiness, life?

Some play time and good noms with lovely company - a well-deserved break for these two hardworking gals. Oh, and a little bit of singing on my part. Yikes.

As my Pap Pap says, you're essentially selling your life to a company when you work. It should be fulfilling and rewarding as you can never get that time back. Much to reflect upon...

xxxx

Crazy Cat Lady Starter Pack

On 30 May, one wild kitty joined the Jacobs clan. Loki took the car ride to my apartment in stride and made himself right at home. By now, the little temper tantrums when I leave for work have boiled down to a minimum and he's nestled deep down in my heart.

Quickly had his collar put on while he was still slightly dazed and confused with the change of surroundings.

Many kisses and snuggles ensued in order to make the little lovebug feel at ease in his new home.

Loki loves: naps, cuddling, toilet paper, Cowboy Crunch chicken, and ice cubes.

Work hard, play hard, then crash. I love getting to know this furry bundle of joy {and wild antics} as we figure out each day one by one. Little guy gets tuckered out after he spends much time being a little terror around the apartment and playing with his hoooman.

All of the scratches and bites and hours of sleep lost have been worth it.

His favorite spot to be: inside the crook of my arm.

Little Loki has me wrapped tight around his tail. When he's acting up, I'll scoop him up and hold him like a baby as I walk around the apartment, get ready for work, or go fetch the mail from outside. He's much like a toddler in that sense...going limp and chill the moment he's picked up.

I've become that cat lady who takes innumerous pictures of her cat...

Daily snuggles are a must and exactly what I'll be looking forward to for the duration of the day.

xxxx

Happy Celebrations

On Sunday, my bestie walked down her first of two upcoming aisles to graduate with not just one, but two degrees - her undergraduate and graduate. So happy and proud I could be there to watch her achieve one of her many goals!

May 8, 2016
University Park

 The past two weekends were filled with half work, half play & excitement. With graduation over, the following weekend I was able to spend some more time with the bride-to-be at her bachelorette party before driving off again from home to wedding #2 of the season.

Conner & Sam were high school sweethearts and I had the pleasure of meeting them during my freshmen year of college.

May 14, 2016
Vineyards at Grandview, Mt Joy

A mini LVC reunion of lovely friends on this joyous occasion ^_^

The rain didn't put a damper on events {albeit it may take me a while to clean the mud off of my heels} - a rainbow appeared and hopefully it'll bring much happiness and luck on their new chapter together!

Best man, and one of my lovely friends, Nick serenaded the couple for their first dance..

A bit of personal celebration: I'll be going back for my MBA starting this summer! Feeling inspired by my bestie & her perseverance and will finally be taking the plunge back into school to better myself and see what doors may open up as a result.

Nerd alert: going to be a student again! Oh, and going to be taking advantage of the student discounts once again, duh.

Oddly enough, I don't look all that different from when I had my ID photo taken 5 years ago *awkward*

xxxx