Days Gone By: An Autumnal Hymn

Another month gone by in the blink of an eye as day after day blurred their lines between work, school, and {some} play. Wishing I had more eloquent words for such the beautiful {and my favorite} month.

Thankfully, I was able to see friends, hang out with kitties, destroy my hair try out a new hair color....or a few....amid the chaos of trying to pack up my life to move in with my favorite person by the end of the month: my sissy.

My iPhone 6 is holding up for the most part, so at least I can provide a highlight of October's song in pictures...

A night on the town with beautiful friends: much needed.

As much as I was digging the lighter locks, my hair was beyond brittle and threatening to snap off {and some even pulled off as I attempted to comb it}. 

A purple-y hue: much better.

When in doubt, get your thigh-highs out. Oxford paired with high-waisted shorts and my trusty thigh-highs for a night of people-watching at the bar.

Mr. Theo was thrilled for one of our last family portraits before he went back to my Gramps.

A breather in between hauling my stuff...new mirror: new selfie.

A housewarming gift to brighten up the new place :)  ...soon eaten and massacred by Loki. 

Loki, settling into our new home. My handsome guy took the move quite well; as more and more things left the old apartment, he had more space to roam around with Theo.

Early birthday gift from sissy, which came in handy for enjoying an ice-cold beer from Hoegaarden. We'll be making use of these!

Birthday adventures soon to come {with more bravado and imaginative narrative}. While I truly am loving school, it does keep me busy and leaves less time for the extracurricular hobbies and sleep.

xxxx

May the Fourth Be with You

Star Wars Day should, without a doubt, be a fun {and nationally celebrated} holiday. I sure as heck would have allowed my employees to wear something in commemoration of the fantastically epic saga.

Coincidentally, one of my days off for the week fell on Star Wars Day, so I was able to run errands and change my outfit a few times at my leisure in order to wear a few of my many SW regalia.

Of course, I jokingly told my employees that I had off because it was SW Day.

The greatest mask $.25 can buy from Goodwill.

xxxx

Skepticism and Reflection

Geek.
Nerd.
Dork.
Bookworm.

All of these have been spit, hissed, and thrown at me as supposedly venomous words meant to damage my young ego and little girl feelings throughout grade school - words I typically took pride in regardless. Now, these very words are used as praise, mixed in with a reference to appearance, as though these attributes are only now acceptable as a direct correlation to my transformation into adulthood reminiscent to that of the ugly duckling {okay, I was only ugly when I was 2yo, then was just a little dingus afterwards}.

What makes sci-fi all of a sudden the "it" thing?? Personal reflection on this anthropological observation on popular culture to ensue...

Lookin' good front and center in 5th grade

I find it interesting that little girls are bullied for liking "nerdy" things, such as Star Wars and Harry Potter, insulted or told they're not "girly enough" for enjoying alone time surrounded by stacks of books, increasing vocabulary and exercising the mind and imagination. Perhaps this lends a hand in why I'm rather skeptical of compliments made on my appearance, albeit if a little kid says I look like poo or a princess, more than likely they're dead-on because kids have zero filter.

24 Champ/Record Maker & Harry Potter - 4th grade

Being geeky is now the new "cool," rivaling the equally "cool" {for lack of a better term} hipster, except now that geekiness has morphed to being sexy and geeky {think Princess Leia's iconic slave costume}. This whole phenomenon still mind-boggles me as in years past, a geek brought about thoughts of the chubby comic book guy from the Simpsons sitting around in his mother's dusty basement with his figurines and vacuum-sealed Marvels.

I'm of the mind that a woman's sexuality can be more than objectification and also be a sense of empowerment, always finding offense in the hypocrisy of men being praised for promiscuity and women scrutiny for simply kissing two different guys in a month {I embellish slightly, but you get the gist}. And hey, I want to be slave Leia for Halloween one year because Carrie Fisher's Leia is pretty BA, much like Lena Headey's Queen Gorgo from 300.

I find nothing wrong in someone wanting to be a sexy, fierce woman - emphasis on the fierce. As I've grown up, I've become increasingly weary of attention brought about from these curséd genetic curves, still lost in my little dorky realm of doing well intellectually, professionally as opposed to how my bum looks in a pair of trousers {although good bum days are a nice ego boost for my sole benefit}.

Hurray for a great pair of jeggings, my Chewbacca hat, and Star Wars socks!

Hmm perhaps my reflection is on thinking back, how much I've grown since leaving that small town where the cool kids weren't the brainiacs, but were just cool kids who thought I was nice but far from cool and not worth their time. My looks haven't shifted all that much, but my outlook on life has slightly....and my sense of style {thank goodness}. I'm not saying I'm a beauty queen {I can make a mighty fine double-chin any day}, but still feel like that awkward little kid who feels weird when her looks are randomly complimented - also may be in part to fuckboys stupid boys convincing me I could trust them against my reservations, only to have my soul temporarily cloven in two dilapidated pieces.

Non-sexy and practical - gotta love my Chewie hat.
{and screw winter chill}

Once again I could be overthinking many things, but I can't be the only 20-something year old who was considered a dingus in hs but has since grown wings and flown away from the nonsense, embracing their dork side.

I can't forget my roots, but I won't let someone else decide if I'm cool or not. All that matters is I know I'm a happy looney loner loser and my Mum thinks I'm rad.

xxxx

Xmas from the heart

My 10yo cousin very much still believes in Santa and the mysterious way in which he gobbles up the cookies every year while she's tucked away in her bed. As tradition, I wrote the 'thank you' note as Santa, thanking her and also telling her I hope she remembers the true meaning of Xmas and to cherish the time spent with family.

Incredibly enough, I realized my own neglect in this area: busy working what seems like around the clock and have not spent nearly as much time as I would like with friends and family.... Having C3 in the car shop for repair does not help matters either {insert sad face here}.

A few highlights from Xmas:

I was lucky enough to have more-than-accommodating parents who picked my working butt up after a short {ha!} 12hr shift at work and then promptly fell asleep at my Nana's house after texting a select few that cheerful "Merry Christmas" text as we do in this day and age, counting down the seconds until it is "officially" Christmas.

This year's outfit: crushed velvet ShopPriceless skirt, favorite pullover sweater {similar}, Star Wars belt, thigh-high stockings, and new loafers.

Gag gifts are inevitable. My fav? Poo-dough, complete with yellow dough to make realistic corn pellets.

I may or may not have worn this in public during the travels of the day....

Obsessed with new robe! And friends found it a real hoot when I posted on social media.

I'm all set for when my favorite Wookie comes a-calling for a romantic date....once he's done saving the galaxy, of course.

Mama set me up for my aspirations at becoming a savant in pancake-making with a super sweet griddle. Chocolate-chip pancakes, anyone?

While gifts should not be the focal point of the holidays, I do quite enjoy giving thoughtful gifts and spreading cheer with something they would like, or something they would love but would never buy for themselves.

Spreading the love, surrounded by good food and wine, and good company - that's what the holidays are about, eh? Taking time away from the real-world problems and focusing on what truly matters. Time's too short not to take time to unwind with the ones who have your back through thick and thin, and to share the love with stories and sweets.

Did I mention I loved the robe?

Star Wars and Feminism

*WARNING: mild spoilers - character analysis*

Round of  applause for the All-Star cast in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, especially the incredibly strong female characters portrayed.

Yeah....I caved...and {power}walked the mile down the road to the nearest cinema. Being without a car for the {hopefully short} time being, means getting my lazy butt up and walking, something I should have done sooner.... And yes, I went alone, per my usual prerogative for adventures.

Oh! And before I forget, let me just leave this right here:



And also, THIS article on Harrison Ford - yes, i realize I used Hello Giggles for reference quite a bit, but this isn't my thesis paper, so....

Diva much? However, I like the author's last line: [she hopes that Ridley and Boyega] set a new standard of pay for women and people of color in the film industry in the process.

Where was I? Ah, yes!

Rey: new main character. Badass. Drives the Millennium Falcon, for fuck's Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater's sake. Han is hesitant to believe she's the pilot because she's a girl, but Chewie can sense there's something about her - umm, yeah, the Force is strong with this one.

Aside from the Force, she's strong, but also nervous and afraid, like any one of us may feel if we've been thrust into such chaos and the weight of the galaxy placed on our shoulders. She's relatable to boys and girls.

c/o Moviepilot.com

Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia was one of the few, if not only, strong female leads in the original trilogy. The prequels granted us Padmé Amadala and this upcoming trilogy is ever-expanding, introducing more female leads {I realize Padmé and Leia weren't the only, but the ones most familiar to all who've enjoyed within the spectrum of fans from casual to die-hards}. It does, however, disturb me that Disney made Fisher lose 35lbs to reprise her role...

c/o movieweb.com

Maz Kanata: voiced by Lupita Nyong'o {so many cool cameos in the film!!}, Maz is rather underrated. She lends her 1000 years-worth of wisdom and guidance to Han, Chewie, Rey, and Finn, as well as the audience with her comment she's seen Rey's eyes before...hmmm.

She's an entrepreneur with her own business and respect of all those in the joint despite her small statute {remember not to stare!}

c/o imgur.com

Captain Phasma: yeah, I realize she's a "bad guys" from the First Republic, which reminds me quite a bit of Hitler's Third Reich....including a sinister autonomous arm salute following the speech of General Hux to the Stormtroopers.... None the less: she's second-in-command to Kylo Ren, the new big, bad Dark Lord in town.

There was a Reddit commentary going around stating that the armor isn't "feminine," whatever the hell that means. Do the Stormtroopers even have to have a gender?? I'm sure we all assumed they were male, based on the voices of those Stormtroopers heard in the original trilogy and the all-male Clone Troopers {they were clones of a male after all}, but I'm digging the addition of a female Trooper, especially one in charge.

Played by Gwendoline Christie, the one and same actress who portrays Brianne in Game of Thrones, could you expect anything less from this incredible woman?

c/o screenrant.com

These aren't the only one strong female leads, but certainly quite notable.

Thank you, Disney, for incorporating more characters little girls can look up to. Not all heroes are male....and neither are all villains.

Hmm...something tells me I'll be seeing this film once {or twice} again before it leaves theaters - for the kickass characters, Daisy Ridley, and for all of the Easter eggs {Daniel Craig cameo, anyone?}.

Star Wars - a new era

*Warning: NO spoilers*

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is officially out and beating several opening records....before the doors to the first screening even creaked upon their hinges. This global enterprise, which includes likely 100's of thousands of fans in its fandom and will likely boast nearly $5 billion {with a B} in merchandise sales, was destined for cinematic history before auditions began {hard to believe it's been 2 years since I waited in line for literally hours at Twickenham Park in London to audition for the role of Rey}.

However, you likely won't be seeing me in a theater near you... Thank you, social anxiety, albeit this is not the sole reason. As much as I love Star Wars, I feel the hype has become overrated, bringing people out of the woodwork, which does not bode well with someone who will require spending some time alone to recharge her batteries from being overly socially stimulated...

Growing up a mega nerd, I often faced mockery and ridicule for the very franchise which is now regarded as one of the largest in the cinematic and sci-fi industry, earning quite a few discerning looks by passersby in high school for my Chewbacca backpack. I find it fascinating that love for this conglomerate is now hailing one as "cool" - funny how that works, eh?

Hot Topic model with the same Chewie backpack I own...
except I don't look half as fab as she.

Trends come and go, cinematic and literary masterpieces gain and lose fandom momentum as the next "it" thing joins the scene...

....but I have a furry feeling that Star Wars may be one to stay, which is good and bad, because I really want to see the new movie without risk of an overcrowded and noisy theater and my R2-D2 ink isn't fading any time soon.

Thankful I have not seen any spoilers via social media, so at least people are being respectful, unlike so many countless other premiered movies.

Perhaps now that I have a few days off, I may venture off to see it...who knows, I just may get a little wild in my current state of being stranded and potentially going stir-crazy.

The Force Awakens: A Lippy Review

As someone who used to avoid lipstick years ago, I now see how it has enhanced my otherwise washed-out, vampire-tanned face and added that extra pizzazz needed to complete an outfit.

I do realize, in the wake of terrorist attacks {Pray for Paris}, makeup and hair and clothing all seem rather insignificant and vain, but in spite of such atrocities in the world, we should still retain some of those froo-froo habits and interests, for when we cower down in fear and relinquish all pleasures and enjoyment, that is whey "they" have won.

I try my damnedest to refrain from international affairs and political views, not out of ignorance {the world fascinates me, and out into the world I aspire to go...}, but feel this is not the place for such matters with so broad an audience. We live in times when the next generation {and even my own} is coddled relentlessly and mediocrity is the new standard as expectations are lowered and lowered...

But I digress per usual...

With the release of the new film, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, CoverGirl got extra creative with its new line, inspired by the Light and Dark Sides of the Force.

Naturally, I was intrigued....one of my favorite movie empires coupled with my new-found appreciation for lippy and its powers over the past few years.

While I was home, I picked up two shades, surprised my hometown Wal-Mart even carried the collection.

Silver #10 & Dark Purple #50, shown above, respectively.

The silver was a bit thin, but left a pretty sheen. I may utilize it to mix things up a bit or for a special occasion.

The purple, however, da-yum. It goes on so well and slowly fades to a purple-y rouge after a little wear and tear. As long as lasting, this color lasted all day, from morning until night. Evening was when I noticed the more rosy-hue, but even when I removed my makeup at night for bed, quite a bit came off.

These two are my go-to's: Wet 'n' Wild's Black Orchid 508A and Revlon's Wine with Everything 525.

They're both a deeper hue than the typical rouge, albeit the 525 is bit more red than the former. While both provide excellent coverage for several hours, the CoverGirl dark purple has them both beat.

While some lippy will become cake-like even with proper moisturizing prep before and during application, all of the aforementioned stay on evenly. I have noticed I need to reapply both chapstick and lippy with the 508A and 525, though...the chapstick adds moisture but does not take the pigment with it when applied on the dark purple as moisturizer is needed later in the day.

Hmm...me thinks the CoverGirl will be making a luscious debut tomorrow at the rock concert....

Netflix and Chill

Proof of my naïveté and innocence: I thought "Netflix and chill" meant actually binging on House of Cards online with some friends or a S/O....little did I know...

Thank you, Superman, for correcting my ignorance before I made a complete assclown of myself in front of someone.

23: it seems every year that I become increasingly astonished that I'm this old ha. I don't feel this old, nor particularly old in the least for that matter.

I feel ready to take on life, my career {eventually, at some point, when I figure out what I want to be when I "grow up"}, travels...hell's bells, I've taken on Paris, Chicago, and Nashville all by my lonesome, so I'm feeling quite confident, albeit avoiding cockiness...

A brekkie suitable for 5- and 23-year olds. Lovely's mummy had bought this wonderful sealife waffle iron for me 2 Xmas's ago and I'm only now digging it out, feeling it would be rather dangerous {knowing my luck} to attempt to make waffles in a dorm room.

Huzzah!

C/O of Mum and Sis: BA Vader watch and R2-D2 sweats and socks. "Growing up" means wearing all the cool things I never knew existed nor had the nerve to wear...

Obviously, I'm a mega man-repeller, but that's A-ok to me.

Love....my only advice: run away. Or, enjoy and run with it, letting your heart gain experience, while simultaneously living on the edge, where at any point, that heart of yours could be pulverized and beaten to a pulp, cast aside like an old sweater now overly stretched and holey, no longer suitable for its basic job of warmth.

Perhaps I grow ever more pessimistic on the surface with age, while remaining a total vulnerable softie underneath, afraid of any deep-rooted leaps of faith unless they're out of an airplane {hello, future skydiving excursion!}.

Fear. Fear is a terrible emotion to feel...one with which I've become quite accustomed to taking head-on.

Currently finishing up the last season of Glee and this quote from lovable Brittany caught my attention:

You know...these Mounds bars are delicious but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand, hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt. Then you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in your hand.

Now, this seems silly, but can be applicable in love and life: grab Mounds bars life by the proverbial horns and run with it, fear or no.

Untangling my thoughts on love and my career: we crave those comforts in life, those which come with familiarity and safety nets but perhaps what is needed are those giant leaps of blind faith to get to somewhere truly wonderful...

Okay, enough deep feelings for today. I'm craving chocolate, which means water for this grouchy dieting wench.

On Tattoos and Piercings

I'm sorry, Mama,
I never meant to hurt you.
I never meant to make you cry,
but tonight, I'm cleaning out my closet.

Airing out the cobwebs of thoughts swirling in my mind, particularly when it comes to body modification aka ink and steel {tattoos and piercings}.

My Mum was none too thrilled when she saw the lovely e.e.cummings quote on my leg the day of uni graduation, but has come to understand hoc est corpus mium {this is my body}.

i carry your heart

(i carry it in my heart)

These beautiful lines hold a special place in my heart...those who are gone are never truly gone, tucked away in little crevices of our hearts where their memories lingers on long after their last breath.

I think of my Pop Pop and Grammie and the wondrous people who have passed on, as well as old friends whom I used to love from the bottom depths of my soul, with whom I no longer have much connection at all.

There's a certain taboo that tattoos are gawdy pieces of art displayed on the skin... like people, these permanent pieces of art can be big, small, realistic, stylized, colored, b&w....

The possibilities are endless. Ink requires quite the commitment {or the bank for future removal} so I can see why it is a big deal. However, it's also a form of expression or a means of beautifying one's body with significant symbols and words.

A cheeky little R2-D2 hides on my left hip, a comic-style homage to the fantastical world of droids and hyperspace.

While there are certain tattoo "fads" which come and go from time to time {mini mustaches from 2013 ring a bell?}, awareness for cancer and illness goes beyond what it is "in."

I love the message the semicolon conveys: an author inserts a semicolon when (s)he could have ended a sentence.

It's a continuance, holding on to an idea which could have so easily ended. In this, it is a sign of hope for those battling mental illness. A little reminder to myself that it's okay to seek help as friends have reached out to me in their times of need, I, too, can reach out to them when things just don't seem to be going well.

This semicolon represents my fight song.

Ka-Pow! Showing those negative inner voices who is boss in this world of chaos and pressures of perfection.

Messy hair, don't care

Oh! and my latest beauty... Easily shoved up my nose for work {have to remain professional when&where it counts}, loving my new septum piercing.

Sorry, Mummy.

A dainty little piercing....if you want to be a badass and have piercings all over, do you, honey. If that's your look, work it.

I only wish to provide a different facet to piercings and ink - people do them for various reasons and they can work for different looks!

When you see someone inked and pierced, don't judge. You don't know their story nor the significance of those beautiful images on their body. If you're part of the club, don't let the haters hate {might want to adhere to any dress codes for work to avoid confrontation...}.

We work to live, not live to work, so stay within the work parameters for those few hours on the work grind, but outside, be comfortable in your skin.

Time to clean and tuck the septum ring before work :)

Adventures with a rock star

Although he may insist otherwise, Tree is a total rock star in the sense that he lives life to the fullest, planning only when necessary, and loving what he is doing [and making a living off of it, which is also important nowadays for loans, noms, and a roof]. This kind of attitude is rather infectious in the best sort of way.

Oh! and of course he sings with a voice that would make the angels weep and the punkiest group shed a few amongst them, all while shaking his bum for the ladies and expertly dancing his fingers along his bass.

After a long weekend of training at my new job, followed by a shift at the library from opening until close, I was ready for some fun that did not require much thought and allowed for freer, less professional clothing that didn't feel so constricting.

Started the night off in Catawissa, PA for a graduation party for one of my wonderful friends. Good food, great people, beautiful sunset. These are the nights for which I live....

Headed to Milton, PA to catch some of Phil's friends playing. As there was chalk provided and the precedent of others' names was already in place, of course I added mine to the bunch!

>girly heart and curly cursive, no less<

Thank goodness I thought to bring my fail-proof jacket to not only spice up the outfit, but for practically purposes aka warmth.

New button-up dress from Forever 21, accessorized with some of my all-time favorite pieces: Michael Kors bag, Star Wars belt, black suede lace-up wedges, and a lovely mauve lippy.

Evening would not be complete without some silly faces, a few beers in.

Thank you to friends for being our DD to ensure we were safe and could go a little wild! If you're going to drink, have a solid plan for the night.

On Sunday, Tree and I went to the TasteFest helped at the Mt. Hope winery aka the Renaissance Faire grounds. So strange to see it without the costumes and music...construction added to the odd mix.

Clearfield REPRESENT!!!! My hometown wineries were here! Bee Kind Winery and Starr Hill Winery are my two absolute favorites. Starr Hill is just in the next small town near me and it was so wonderful to see and taste familiar wines.

The buffalo chicken mac n cheese sold at the fair made the day complete.

After a long afternoon in the sun, Tree and I came back for some relax time.... Chicken stir-fry with some Bone Dry Red from Bee Kind Winery.

Who goes to a wine festival without buying any wine??

Surprisingly enough, we did not finish the bottle for dinner, so Happy Memorial Day to me indeed. Resting up for a nice long week [12 straight days] of work.

Wine + reading make for a pleasant afternoon...happy reading, y'all.

Life of a 22 year youngling

Has life ended now that I've graduated college? All the fun gone?

Hell no.

Still goofy. Still geeky. Still posing awkwardly.

My lovely ink - much to Mum's chagrin.

e.e.cummings holds a special place in my nogan...and this particular line, the end of one of his post famous poems, rings true.

Those I've had the privilege of having in my life and loving, all there, in my heart. A reminder that not all those I've loved are lost, but are nestled safely below my ample bosom, in my heart.

New LOTR skirt which depicts a map of Middle Earth! This beauty made its public debut at my friend's graduation party in Mechanicsburg. We danced, laughed, and sang the night away as younglings do, not yet fearful of what's yet to come.

Like Mordor, one does not simply walk to a happy ending. We must create one.

These wildlings: I hope to be seeing more of STT and their merch guy this summer, joining them on tour as a bandmate's sloth girlfriend might do.

For now, I'm working part-time, having just left my other part-time job. The new biggie girl job should be starting soon so that's exciting! In the meantime, the wanderlust adventurer in me is making lists of mini adventures to take, starting today, tomorrow, and Sunday, but not Saturday since I have work...

• Cornwall Iron Furnace + Bluebird Inn, Cornwall, PA 
• Further exploration of Gettysburg now that I'm old enough to appreciate it [daughter of a history buff, okay?]
• Centralia, PA
• Utz Factory, Hanover, PA
• Turkey Hill Experience, Columbia, PA
• Explore City Island & Harrisburg now that I can roam without a chaperon or wrist leash [yes, I had one of those as a child...]
• Rhode Island
• Cape May, NJ  
• Nashville, TN 
• New Orleans, LA
• Toronto, Canada 

This is only the beginning....so many places not yet uncovered nor visited just in this area! We shall see how far I get. And I'll be putting more effort in keeping you posted.

Hobey Ho, let's go!

Pompous Circumstances

Or, as others refer to it, Pomp and Circumstances, the traditional processional piece played for graduation with military origins. I could look up the actual origins of this rather catchy tune as a cure to my slight ignorance, but I'd rather remain in my bliss and use those 15 minutes of Google/Wikipedia research to put together this post for my [likely few, yet important all the same] readers.

Before I go off too far on my little tangent there....I walked with my college graduation class and thus ends my stint as an undergrad.

Sisters hold your hand through the good times and the bad, through tears and laughter. So happy I can call this lovely lady my sissy and one of my best friends.

My Fajer told me I could do and be whomever I please. Today I chose to be happy [and also taller].

While I'm just as close to my Mum as I am with him, I am definitely Daddy's buddy, as he lovingly called me. I might be a woman, but he had my back in wrestling, had me at the shooting range at age 9, and took my sis and I fishing.

He taught me the meaning of hard work, and I'd say it's pulling off. Magna cum laude with a completion of a BS in 3 1/2 years: I'd say I'm doing pretty well.

My best friend made the drive to see me!!! Heidi and I have been through all of the awkward phases and love and support one another through the curve balls of life. She's definitely my friend soul mate.

My Tree, feeling all sentimental. Crazy to think....four years ago, he was graduating from the same place and I only had an inkling of what may lay in store as I was getting ready for my senior high school prom.

OH, SNAP!

I made the Lebanon Daily News for my cap! Made a stir in hs with my Farewell speech, making headlines with my cap for Uni. Seems fitting for this trouble maker ;)

And so....it's done. Finished.

Onto the next adventure! Hobey Ho, let's go!