Skepticism and Reflection

Geek.
Nerd.
Dork.
Bookworm.

All of these have been spit, hissed, and thrown at me as supposedly venomous words meant to damage my young ego and little girl feelings throughout grade school - words I typically took pride in regardless. Now, these very words are used as praise, mixed in with a reference to appearance, as though these attributes are only now acceptable as a direct correlation to my transformation into adulthood reminiscent to that of the ugly duckling {okay, I was only ugly when I was 2yo, then was just a little dingus afterwards}.

What makes sci-fi all of a sudden the "it" thing?? Personal reflection on this anthropological observation on popular culture to ensue...

Lookin' good front and center in 5th grade

I find it interesting that little girls are bullied for liking "nerdy" things, such as Star Wars and Harry Potter, insulted or told they're not "girly enough" for enjoying alone time surrounded by stacks of books, increasing vocabulary and exercising the mind and imagination. Perhaps this lends a hand in why I'm rather skeptical of compliments made on my appearance, albeit if a little kid says I look like poo or a princess, more than likely they're dead-on because kids have zero filter.

24 Champ/Record Maker & Harry Potter - 4th grade

Being geeky is now the new "cool," rivaling the equally "cool" {for lack of a better term} hipster, except now that geekiness has morphed to being sexy and geeky {think Princess Leia's iconic slave costume}. This whole phenomenon still mind-boggles me as in years past, a geek brought about thoughts of the chubby comic book guy from the Simpsons sitting around in his mother's dusty basement with his figurines and vacuum-sealed Marvels.

I'm of the mind that a woman's sexuality can be more than objectification and also be a sense of empowerment, always finding offense in the hypocrisy of men being praised for promiscuity and women scrutiny for simply kissing two different guys in a month {I embellish slightly, but you get the gist}. And hey, I want to be slave Leia for Halloween one year because Carrie Fisher's Leia is pretty BA, much like Lena Headey's Queen Gorgo from 300.

I find nothing wrong in someone wanting to be a sexy, fierce woman - emphasis on the fierce. As I've grown up, I've become increasingly weary of attention brought about from these curséd genetic curves, still lost in my little dorky realm of doing well intellectually, professionally as opposed to how my bum looks in a pair of trousers {although good bum days are a nice ego boost for my sole benefit}.

Hurray for a great pair of jeggings, my Chewbacca hat, and Star Wars socks!

Hmm perhaps my reflection is on thinking back, how much I've grown since leaving that small town where the cool kids weren't the brainiacs, but were just cool kids who thought I was nice but far from cool and not worth their time. My looks haven't shifted all that much, but my outlook on life has slightly....and my sense of style {thank goodness}. I'm not saying I'm a beauty queen {I can make a mighty fine double-chin any day}, but still feel like that awkward little kid who feels weird when her looks are randomly complimented - also may be in part to fuckboys stupid boys convincing me I could trust them against my reservations, only to have my soul temporarily cloven in two dilapidated pieces.

Non-sexy and practical - gotta love my Chewie hat.
{and screw winter chill}

Once again I could be overthinking many things, but I can't be the only 20-something year old who was considered a dingus in hs but has since grown wings and flown away from the nonsense, embracing their dork side.

I can't forget my roots, but I won't let someone else decide if I'm cool or not. All that matters is I know I'm a happy looney loner loser and my Mum thinks I'm rad.

xxxx

New Year's Eve 2012

It's been a good year...

As the clichéd saying goes: out with the old and in with the new.

Cleaned out old papers and tests and such that I haven't touched in years... purged the undercavity of my bed and found a book I could sell...for a little more than $88. Boo-ya! I love little gems like this...I received this textbook au gratis somewhere along the lines...but now its profits shall go towards more textbooks. Meh.

The detriments [to the wallet] of being a student....textbooks are ridiculously expensive!

Buuuut....came across a paper I had written in 12th grade in my soc class. It's entitled: Sociological Imagination Opinion Response #1. Sounds pretty legit, right? haha

"As Shrek could relate, I am like an onion, an onion with many layers, many of which may never see the sunlight. Part of me is still finding out who I am; I'm nhot looking for where I belong, because I do not wish to belong anywhere, but more or less what is relevant [?].

There are so many students in the high school whose goal is to fit in.  And I ask myself, WHY?! I don't feel the need to change who I am to fit in; nor do I want to fit in with the likes of most students.  I don't see myself as snobbish or superior and almighty, but I feel almost trapped by my age. Age is but a number but it is still a confinement--it restricts. There is so much drama within these walls and it's difficult to relate to this petty nonsense (not that I'd want to, but point being...).

For the most part, I'd rather be a loner at school. I'm not saying I don't have friends, because I have plenty, but I find solace in this school when I'm left to my own devices, so to speak. I like to get my work done rather than procrastinate as seniors tend to do.
 

I consider myself a bit of a weirdo and I like that...I don't feel the need to impress everyone because my actions and achievements do that on their own. I work hard for myself; I'm not selfish, but I've become more self-aware and self-oriented in that I don't care what peers think of me. I've been so much happier. 

 For now I'm counting down the days until I graduate and leave these children behind...
 

It's always interesting to find old things such as this...

It's ok to be different. Make a New Year's resolution for change...but do it for you.

Perhaps that is the connection I'm trying to make...change can be a good thing; it's highly encouraged at times, but do it for yourself. Don't change for some boy or because some mean girl from school cyber-bullies you on Facebook.

In truth, I find that we are our own worst enemies. Why give someone else as much control? Life already has enough challenges, both good and bad, to overcome.

Have a wonderful New Year's Eve celebration and let's bring this new year in with some flair and a better perspective on ourselves. Celebrate the self and be happy you're you.

Vest: Sweater Project [faux fur]; simple white tee: Faded Glory; jeggings: AE, all gifts from Mum

Occasional treats are recommended in order to stick to a diet. 4lbs lost since beginning of break! Healthy eating ftw!

Earrings: sterling silver with blue Topaz, gift from Fajer

"recycling" 50s-inspired shoes from my senior Elvis band show

Getting ready for tonight!

*Hair tip: hot rollers are the way to go for niiiiice wavy curls and to avoid the dreaded 19th century sausage curl. Remember to separate curls. It looks ridiculous, ladies, when there are big sausages dangling from one's head...

Just another manic Monday

Wish it was Sunday....actually, Sunday is just as depressing.

I hope you remembered to thank a Veteran yesterday! Yesterday was Veterans' Day, a day to remember those who've died, served, and currently are serving to protect this country and her citizens against harm. Thank you to all those Veterans. My Fajer is a Veteran and I'm quite proud of him.

Yesterday I felt like such a slob....I actually spent it in my pj's, but I was quite the busy bee with all the homework I had accomplished.

Time to study for my French exam. Joy. I'm worn out from this semester already...ready for next semester and the fun schedule I'll have! But with each day of classes done and every homework assignment/paper, I'm one day closer to London. oooooh, London. If you ever have a chance to study abroad, take it.

Today was an absolutely beautiful with a high in the mid-60s, so I took advantage of it to not wear pants! Yay to not freezing!

Hi-lo looks great with heels! Elongate those legs. I'm short, so the added height is a bonus.

Glimpse of new phone as well :) .....as messy closets.

Details, details, details! Rough up the lace [cami underneath, of course] with some tough accents, i.e. spikes, something black, studded belt. Top off with red lips to sync it together.

Ooooh the shoes....wedges are great for walking!

Oh! I made a video today. I need some practice...please don't laugh at my ridiculously childish voice.



Going from one language to the next to the next....worked on German, typing in English now, time to study French. Oy vey. Enjoy your Monday night :)

Mintzberg and Fayol

What mighty fellows. Topic of my recent paper due this week....hmmm about that....

Sometimes in college, it's good to just step away from the books. Tonight I went to Top-It! for the first time. Mmmm

My delicious Top-It! creation

Mmmm

Yes, I'm in the obsessed phase of getting my iPhone and playing with all the apps. It'll last about a week or so. Please bear with me... Instagram is so much fun!

I felt so out of the loop before...

Favorite Funnies

Today I'm feeling rather comedic....or rather today feels rather funny. Seriously, it feels as though it was just Friday. I guess that's what happens when classes are cancelled for two days.

• First of all, I'm watching The Hangover. Hysterical.

• Today in German class a group presented a dubbed version of Airplane! the  movie. I've never heard of it but apparently it's a parody of sorts...twas quite comical

• It's Fancy Friday :D

Skirt: birthday prezzie from Mum from Express

• This face.

• "Hello. How 'bout that ride in? Guess that's why they call it Sin City. Ha-ha-ha. ....I just added two more guys to my wolf pack."

On a very happy note, my iPhone 5 finally came today!!! Naturally, I had a huge exam today so I had to focus on that.

Back to the Hangover...Carlos is adorable!

Happy Halloween!

As Halloween comes to a close, I hope you enjoyed this one!

Today we quoted movies in German. "Boo, you whore."

Well, two of the four groups presented their movie projects....we took a scene from a movie and translated and adapted our own German version of it. My partner and I did a scene from The Wizard of Oz. The other did a montague of clips from Mean Girls. We tried explaining some of the scenes to our prof, who had never seen the movie....didn't go so well.

"On Wednesdays we wear pink."

Attempt at being a hazy Halloween creep.

My lovel-E friends made this GIANT birthday card for me!! And LOOK! That's me in the top right corner! Haha my friend Haivy has a sweet modern instant-pix camera from Nikon...?

:)

Here's to the new month....November! Woo! Fresh pair of contacts on the first of every month! ....ok, now that you know my hygienic routines...

Have a lovely start of November and continuation of fall....it's becoming chilly but that just means more layers and layers and layers!

Monster Mash

Yesterday we had classes cancelled [happy birthday to me!] and today they were cancelled as well due to that attention-whore, Sandy.

Last year on my birthday, I woke up to a snow storm....this year, a hurricane. What shall be in London next fall?? Perhaps Mother Nature will spare me because it's my 21st and I'll be studying abroad.

Birthday girl was excited to receive Tangled and The Princess and the Frog from Mummy :) ....along with enough snacks to see me through the storm.

My sneaky friends threw me a party and completely surprised me with a giant card and a birthday cupcake and people sang to me at the campus C-Store. And yes, I wore my crown all day. It seemed like the proper birthday thing to do.

Oh, my....so glad to be surrounded by such wonderful people! They keep me in stitches and I love them to pieces.

New Express dress! Can't wait to wear this out somewhere...

The power went out a few times last time while we watched Paranormal Activity but it sort of added to the suspense [we've seen it before so we knew what was coming]. Afterwards, a couple of us did the Ouija board. There was quite a bit of energy between the five of us; I was surprised. Halloween mood....had to do something spooky and fun!

Today is my friend Trevor's birthday! He's older than I am haha. So 20 doesn't seem so old...although my sister reminded me that I'm now officially two decades old. Thanks, Sis.

Time to work on my management paper a little longer....being a total bum today in my attire. But that's ok, I haven't ventured outside the building once today.

No, no, no. Terrible news of the night.

This just doesn't seem right.

These last few teen moments

So this is my last hour and a half of being a teenager...although technically i wasn't born until after 8pm. Trick-or-Treat baby! :D Surprise, Sissy! You received a baby sister instead of more candy from Mummy and Fajer!

Ok, that was silly.

But it feels strange....no longer being a teenager. No longer being able to use the excuse, "hey, I'm still a teenager even though I'm an adult." But 20 is a nice even number.

I love Jiff peanut butter cups to go...this is what happens when I don't want to dirty a spoon. Appropriate behavior for a 19 year old. Never lose your silliness, no matter what age.

Ta-da! King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo from 300. Oh, my goodness, this video was an incredible help for hair inspiration!! I did the one with the gold braided within two strands of hair. I had extra hair so I tied a gold ribbon around the 5 together and braided down the rest of the extra hair in those 5 sections as one large unit.

Lovely just looks so BA. My bandfront toepoint is so ladylike.

My King

Interesting night to say the least....

1 1/2 hour countdown! :)

Due to Hurricane Sandy, classes have been cancelled...here's to sleeping in and tackling homework and studying.

With the fall comes the sniffles

-_-

That is my emotion when it comes to having a cold....i think that's what i have. Countering it with DayQuil and NyQuil. HA HA HA take that, stupid sniffles. Hopefully, it goes away soon...i believe the common cold can last up to 3 weeks. Ew. I do not want this for Halloween. Or my birthday.

Speaking of which.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BANDFRONT LITTLE SISTER TODAY!!

My beautiful friend turns 17 today!

Love her to pieces!

Today it started pouring....how lovely...at least it started after my run!

Although then i could have blamed the rain for my fall...yes, yes, clumsy me fell on the the pavement. It wouldn't've been so bad if it had been at the end...but I fell about 3 minutes into my run, start there for a minute or two [it hurt!] and then got up and started running again...

When i got back to my dorm and took off my running clothes to shower, my knee was bloodied, both elbows scraped and one bleeding, and both my hands were scraped up. It's weird...my right elbow took quite a beating, but my left leg was the one dripping. Hmmm...

No matter, no matter...i got my run in then ate a banana after my shower. Picking black fuzzies out of my wounds was gross.

Happy start of the week!

"Wear your clothes with joy!"

I'm wearing red skinnies with my bleached Dragonite shirt that Lovely had made for me.

Friday Favorites

So i've seen many other bloggers do their favorite things, promoting what they love and showing others how wonderful those things are...goodness, this is starting to sound like such an essay already. Perhaps because i still need to finish one...

Did you watch the VP debate last night? ....no? Well, i must confess, neither do i...i fell asleep to the Kindle pages of The Perks to Being a Wallflower. I plan on catching up this weekend and watching it online. NyQuil is not good for being a night owl...

So...onto Friday favorites:

• Being done at 2....oh, hello, weekend! Auf wiedersehen frühe Morgens!



 

• Catching up on tv shows....if i haven't watched them yet...
  OnceUponATime,NewGirl,GossipGirl,America'sNextTopModel, andnowVampireDiaries!....untilPrettyLittleLiarscomesback! phew!
  
  Ugh. Only 9 episodes of Gossip Girl left. That's sad....

It looks like I'm wielding a lightsaber.

 

• Fresh nail polish

OPI Germany Collection My First Knockwurst on four digits...Sally Hansen Gunmetal on my left ring finger and right middle finger. I have OCD when it comes to my nail polish and despise having chipped nails...

• Fancy Friday! Steve Madden counts as fancy anytime.

Steve Madden and Katy Perry ♥

• And red lipstick. A must....

Here's to the freakin' weekend. I'll be seeing you in all familiar places...

Thought i'd get cheeky and combine Rihanna and Billy Holiday lyrics ;)

Once Upon a Chocolate Bar

The season premiere of Once Upon a Time is starting!!

Woooooooo!

Yesterday I went to a maize maze and got lost multiple times. Twas fun nonetheless lol.

Outfit selection number 1 for lunchdate with my Sissy. Twas a tad nippy noodles so some pants were in order....

My fly is down....oops. But I liked this pic.

Mmmm I love me some Seychelles.

I traded the simple headband for the spiked one and headed off to Wally World.

Ok, ok, Once Upon a Time is on now!

"Magic is coming. So be warned, that magic always comes with a price."