Tuesday, July 26, 2016

I'll never be like [blank]

{and that's okay}

In speaking, on separate occasions, to friends and coworkers, I am guilty of the comparison-trap, the measuring-up against others to gauge my own self-worth. As a young teenager and now, as a young woman, I still find myself prey to these silly notions of being worthwhile.

All too often our perceptions of how others see us is distorted by our own self perceptions and current mood/state of mind.

Looking into the mirror {on the rare occasion I'm not simply applying makeup or making sure my shirt isn't on inside-out}, it's a rarity I don't find something to scrutinize, something I tell myself I should fix ASAP - it's a pitfall of mine, one I make an effort to adjust every single day.

Lately, I've been half-wishing I could be someone else for a day or have someone else take over my body while I doggie-paddle in my own negativity pool, zombie-walking through life, but during brief glimpse of light, have begun to ask myself why? Why do you want to be like someone else? Why change everything about you that makes you you?

The way we see and value ourselves can be a dangerous plight, one extreme {self-worthlessness} to the other {narcissism and selfishness} both damaging to the individual and those surrounding.

In this crazy life, I know I'll never be as skinny nor as pretty as the skinniest or prettiest girl, but I have worth - something I'm having to remind myself when I'm feeling caught on this hamster wheel of burnout, stress, and isolation in my self-doubt and feelings...

While comparing oneself is typically not healthy, healthy/positive attribute comparisons are certainly not a bad thing.

I want to strive to be as kind as my friend Heidi, as caring as my Mummy, as passionate about my career as Tree, as hardworking as Superman, as strong as my Nana.

One day, I'll get there. One baby step at a time with some buffalo wings thrown in there... Luckily, I have a broken record of kind words from loving and supportive friends and family.

And when all else fails, kitty snuggles never disappoint.


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