Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Passions and Follies

All too often we get caught up in what we're "supposed" to do, following the proverbial checklist of life: school; moving out/first apartment; job/career; S/O; engagement; marriage; children; somehow squeeze in seeing the world... -- any combination of the above, not necessarily all of them, depending on what you want from life.

Before we know it, life is happening and time is speeding up {certainly not slowing down at any rate} and a new year has begun. We reflect on the past year, making vows to ourselves to accomplish those ticket items which we did not complete that year nor the previous, and possibly even items from 5 years ago... We're stuck in the rut of doing what is expected of us, sometimes foregoing what we had expected of us, expectations of the best sort, such as wanting to progress in a hobby, read more books, take more time for self-relaxation, or learn another foreign language.

Such pleasures and joys in life go to the wayside for things which may not truly matter half as much in the grand scheme of things aka life. While this blog first began as yet another "fashion blog," I've found myself morphing my writing into the raw, real-life feelings - not that these concepts are not incorporated into the various fashion/style blogs I follow, but I don't quite fit the mold, finding myself nestled comfortably into a better suited niche. A living, breathing journal of sorts.

>I still love pretty dresses...but love the stories behind them more.
Dress found in a vintage shop in a small Austrian town<
My drive and purpose are changing with age, as life is unfolding.

Epiphany moment: I realize I've given way to less important segments of life and let those which I love slide on the back burner...job and career-building taking over, in a position my heart is not into, all for a paycheck and contributions to a 401K and for health insurance I'll likely never even use, having not even set up my own doctors in the area {how's that for adulting?}.

>opening my eyes<
Language learning and traveling have gone down on the priority list, more so with the language-building skills and my prolific desire to live and breathe in various cultures to truly experience the world...

This job and vain attempt to please everyone and struggling to live up to expectations initially set by someone other than my own internal desires is slowly taking over my life in ways I could not imagine. Free time is being spent worrying about this and that, and not truly being granted the freedom and sanctuary dictated to maintain some sense of sanity.

In T-minus 2 days, I'm off to Ireland and onto a journey of a more self-fulfilling life as opposed to the grinding rut in which my unmotivated wheels have been churning for far too long...

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