Thursday, January 28, 2016

Ice is nice @3 in the morning.

Last night was a night of resorting to old habits: traipsing the semi-dark streets at an ungodly hour, well disconnected from the world with possibility of being followed/abducted/heckled, with added danger of piled snow and fast-covering black ice - wooo!

In a sense, I felt as though I was searching....searching for what, I cannot say. Some may say "soul searching," but mayhap not... Perhaps slightly inebriated me was looking to find myself out in the cold, dark conditions at an hour in which few are out and about... Or hoping that same ol' superhero would find me as my cheeks grew more numb by the minute walking along that long route.

Soul searching - that is a proper label for such a night, non? A wild goose chase followed by a wobbly late night excursion amongst the snow piles, often wading and leaping like a disgruntled ballerina. I'm sure I looked better in my head than to those poor, innocent bystanders in passing cars...

Listening to my favorite sad song playlist {yes, that's a legit thing on my iPod}, I walked for well over an hour, taking in the silent still of the night, the beauty of the packed snow from the past weekend's snowfall. The events of this weekend running through my mind....the fatigue, desperation of wanting to step up to the plate, the shit storm of the all boiled down to this: piles upon piles of snow and a woman feeling more lost than ever.

Once again, I've taken to Hello Giggles for a good read despite the stack of library books awaiting my attention...feeling rather lonely tonight. The #unsentproject piqued my interest as there were many texts sent last night, and many I refrained my cold, clumsy fingers from creating and sending... Text can only provide so much, but in today's modern technology-centralized world, it's convenient and can feel comforting for untangling hidden thoughts and feelings or sending someone a quick reminder that they're loved {wuv you, Mummy!}.

What about all of those texts we never send, though? It does not make them any less than those we may have needed a bit of tenacity to send. As mentioned in the previous post in regards to travel, timing is key and sometimes those messages should not be sent via black&white text, but withheld for a more personal, face-to-face interaction.

True, it's best not to bottle up feelings, and text can grant one that outlet when in-person communication is not a viable option, but we rationalize with ourselves that mum's the word and keep hush on delicate matters. I feel this project seeks that very irrational decision so many of us have found ourselves making, but, like PostSecret, makes public these very anonymous submissions of texts never sent to someone, for better or for worse. I'm sure, to some degree, we can all relate {if we text} to choosing to do so at some points or another in order to spare feelings or simply protect our own heart from potential impeding risk/danger.

As I've learned throughout the years, it's often much better for both parties to clear any airs and just spill the beans, send those characters as text message - it was created for a reason, not to be deleted after being reread and debated countless times...

Admittedly, this looks better on IG...

With words out in the open, I've said my bit and am finally properly exhausted....darn you, Mother Nature, for making me sleepy, or perhaps it's the delicious locally brewed ales I tried tonight, or a conglomeration of these + the sadness instilled by accepting some of the troublesome burdens of others to ease their emotional load.

{Pssst if you like beer, check out the unTappd app, available from Apple iTunes and Google Play. My username is g33kandchic so you can follow some of the delicious ales I've tried since downloading and will be trying on future adventures!}


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