Support Squad

Taking on the tribulations of the world alone is something not even Batman can do - he has the help of cheeky Alfred to keep him grounded and the Batmobile well maintained.

I'm thankful for the love and support of friends and family by my side who are there to celebrate the moments that need celebrated, grieve in times of mourning, offer a listening ear and wise words, and kick my a$$ when they suspect my path turning dark.

Mummy sent some goodies to feed my belly, Thank You notes for future interviews, goodies for Superman, and of course, it was all packed neatly into Loki and Athena's new jungle gym.

After being in a fog, mind befuddled by the effort of tryiing not to drown in the inept feelings I had of myself and the seemingly impossibly large bite of life I was attempting to chew and swallow, being challenged by a person in authority was potentially the shock I needed to shake me to my senses.

Depression hurts. Mentally, physically, emotionally. The one depressed is not the only one affected, but the ones surrounding the afflicted can be the catalysts of change, offering their kind hearts to help build the ladder out of the hole. Granted, it will take time, but it's time I'm willing to invest for happiness.

The BBL {Big Boss Lady} is back. For my fellow BBL's, enjoy a few laughs from this "advice" comic for women leadership then continue to do what you do best: kicking butt and paving the way for the next wave of women leaders.

While we can't remove all of the negativity from our lives, little changes will quickly add up. Looking at the bigger picture is opening my eyes again. I can do this.

• 8/18 - bought my last Monster and it's been in the fridge ever since
• 8/24 - back on the LoseIt! App to hold myself accountable
• Ordered my first regimen of Rodan + Fields unblemish

New hair always ensures a mood boost and this darker, Merlot-colored mop is signifying a new beginning for my psyche.

While I'm not completely depriving myself of the "bad" stuff, aka the finer things in life, everything in moderation is going to be a new mantra, something with which I've had issues before. Finding ways to enjoy yummy beer while regaining that happy little 6-pack I used to have and of which I have only been able to maintain about a 1/3...

Cheers to the little happies in the world and the small changes to continuous improvement {business terms applying themselves to life}. And here's to completing my first term of MBA courses! 10 courses to go!

And, as always, my sidekicks keep me company while I try to figure out the puzzle of life.

xxxx

Beer Meister

Savant.
Beer connoisseur.

In jest I've said: I work to pay for the beer which I drink because of my job.

However, based on my Untappd account, this is not necessarily the case - I merely love beer, the mechanics and process of its coming to be, the smell of some good hops & bitters, and exploring the divine world of beercrafting.

Trying new things is not inherently a bad habit - one of curiosity and bravery to tease the palate with new tastes, delicious or not so much, according to one's individual taste preferences.

In accordance to this curiosity, I'm making it a summer goal of mine to branch out and explore as many breweries as I can as I feel I have only begun to scratch the surface of what these fine establishments have to offer.

Microbrewing is a staple in Germany with a majority of its restaurants having their own house brew concocted above and around the heads of its dining patrons. While I would love to take a spontaneous trip out east across to the magical Beer Wonderland, paying too far ahead on bills has put a bittersweet damper on the wallet - hurray to loans nearly being paid off, boo to not budgeting better for surprise expenses.

I do admit, however, I can be a creature of habit, resorting back to my absolute favorites such as Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy or the delicious new limited edition Redd's blueberry ale. The blueberry ale is new, though, so that counts as branching out, right? Otter Creek's Fresh Slice white IPA is fairly delish and was a new taste for my tongue earlier this week.

Thank goodness for the ever-resourceful Google for seeking places new adventures and stomping grounds...which I've found myself doing as I await anxiously amid the storm, perking my ears to hear the door creak through the din of the thunder, and contemplating the emotional swirl in my heart which my brain is always trying to unweave in order to understand.

Current reflection: that no one will see the tears you cry if they're shed behind closed doors, the ruined mascara saved for a private showing with the only viewer staring back at you in the mirror.

I guess it's rather fitting the weather is coinciding with the flaring tempers and upset feelings of those among us... As I sip my fruity-tooty strawberry wine, I'm feeling oddly at peace finishing up my thoughts and the adventure-planning wheels are whirling inside.

....and to all a good night.

xxxx

Expectations & Desires

Life-planning currently in the works - with the lovely background "noise" of Hedley, Halsey, and Sia's latest albums and a brown bottle of Sam Adams's Noble Pils in hand.

With a medley of weddings coming up in the early part of spring/summer, that leaves not much time for travels, but PTO is begging to be spent as it accumulates in the virtual PTO bank, prompting me to start scheming planning a much-needed trip out of this death trap of sanity the same-old, same-old work grind.

A positive aspect of working at my current place of employment has definitely been the connection to my mentor - she's been a great help in my development as a manager and gaining confidence in leadership because, let's face, a lot of jumping into the business world {as far removed as I often feel...} is thinking on your feet and winging it until you make it.

Today proved a particularly enlightening conversation, albeit it only lasted approximately 26.5 minutes - a lot of ground covered in those few minutes from recruitment to employee retention to standing up for myself and not getting lost in the wilderness of operations management. She's right - being able to stand up, and needing to, say "no" sometimes is important, especially after constant shifts lasting anywhere from 13-18.5 {my new record, set last Friday into Saturday}. Crying from the burden of always needing to fill in and feeling I can't perform my own job is a commonality Jenn and I share - something in which she divulged today. It does not make us weak women for needing a moment to release all of the pent-up frustration, but a blaring red sign change is needed and that we can't always be Superwoman.

Starting out in new careers, we're expected to put our best foot forward, and why not? That's how you prove yourself that you're a cut above the rest and can handle more responsibility, that you have the drive and ambition to climb the corporate ladder - the American dream, per se. Yet, at what point do we forsake living for these career aspirations? When does the line begin to blur to the point where a job for which we no longer have passion and are only continuing for the experience begins to infiltrate our personal life and affect others around us?

And this is where not just my career turnaround comes into play, but the life-changer plan. With undergrad loans nearly paid off, it's time to start thinking about grad school and taking time to enjoy life - I'm too young to waste it in a position I don't love when there are other opportunities within and outside of the company. Starting with: social media marketing certification and SQL analysis, a revamp of my résumé, as well as a few trips with Superman to see more of this big, beautiful world.

The expectation is to work, nose to the grindstone, until we retire or die...but no, I want a job I love {or at least can tolerate all of the time, enjoying it most of the time}, a cat, more ink, and to see what this world has to offer - so much ground to cover today, but today's revelation and last night's yeast-fueled{beer} mental cog-turning brainstorm has me up-and-at-'em with positive vibes, ready to take on the world.

I'm nearly me again and realizing my potential. Coming back with guns blazing {metaphorically, of course}. I foresee happiness in my future and I'm ready to fight the candidate pools to show 'em what I'm worth.

A bit of light reading {said in my head in Hermione Granger's voice, no less}. Definitely worth a read, especially if you work with the public - you're not the only one dealing with idiots...they're everywhere.

xxxx

On Sanity {and attempts at keeping it}

As mentioned in the previous post, work has proven to be a test on my sanity, often making me feel crazy....like I'm not doing enough yet also feeling overwhelmed with biting off more than I can swallow all in the vain attempt to prove myself worthy of more and more responsibility in the hopes of a potential promotion in the future, to climb the ranks, to show I'm not a silly 23yo girl with a fancy piece of educationally-produced paper, but someone who's ready to take on the world and its problems.

Yet, while I've learned a lot in the past 10 months, 6 days of being in this position, I'm beginning to feel there may be no light at the end of the tunnel, no way of reaching the next rung on the corporate ladder, stuck in limbo of going above and beyond my job description while others toil away with their incompetency.

When work begins to creep into the innermost crevices of one's personal life, perhaps a reevaluation is in order as far as priorities and life goals/desires go... With these consistent mood swings and feeling of dread of going into work, often resulting in a sickening, dizzy headache are signs that this whole work/life balance is entirely out of wack. Monday was the most recent episode: what was to be a brief visit with Superman for a mood-lifting pep talk resulted in increased dread and lightheadedness as the time for work crept closer, causing me to call in that I'll be late so I could mentally calm down and make the world stop spinning, a physical reaction on my vision as my internal stability feels so fragile at times.

While life is full of sacrifices, events are missed because life calls and responsibilities must be fulfilled, but when this is a constant, encroaching phenomenon which takes me away from friends and family, there is an issue. There are events coming up which I refuse to miss: my besties' weddings in April & May, another friend's wedding in May, Heidi's graduation, and a few others dotted here and there...

Time with friends is needed to maintain those wondrous relationships and for a battery recharge.

The one and only Nickove, as photographed for unTappd

Got away for an evening and saw my lovely friend Nickove a few weeks ago {my sense of time is completely off anymore} and it was a pretty darn good night full of live music and old buds from college. On nights like those, all work thoughts go out the window as I enjoy the company of others and catch up on the exciting things in their lives - that's how relationships operate: sharing our treasured moments with the great people in our lives and taking time to get together in order to have shared memories to further enrich our lives.

I feel work is taking that away from me....a sense of livelihood and purpose outside of the walls of that hospital basement. Lunch with Superman certainly grants a getaway from the same-old, same-old as well as provides an outlet for my steam as he patiently listens and offers the superhero wisdom he possesses...

Yesterday, the better part of my afternoon was spent in Lancaster, gallivanting about the city in search of good brews and snacks at some new {to me} venues. Finding time to explore, even if it's in an area not too far away from me helps to relieve my wanderlust blues so I don't feel so trapped in this mental prison I've too often found myself locked inside in regards to work.

My anger spiked from incoming emails of scheduling issues which can easily be managed - if managed right - but were sent to me like I can magically fix them, as though it is my duty to placate everyone when they're forced to step up to the plate, their shortcomings slowly coming to light as they are incapable of filling in when and where needed... I speak truths not to sound uppity, but to put words to the swirling mists in my mind, questioning why grown men twice my age cannot see the greater picture or look beyond their plights when there are greater staffing issues on other days - certain people cannot be the ones to fix all of the gaps nor should their be varying expectations when it comes to management...questioning is it really worth the anger and bitterness accumulating in my soul?

A beautiful walk in the city following the silencing of my work cell, speaking with Superman of how beautiful my mini adventure was turning out to be most definitely calmed me down so I could continue on in my exploration... Hit spots included {which, of course, I'll be reviewing on Trip Advisor}:

• The Character Pub
• The Fridge
• Tellus360

After another explosion riveted with expletives and exasperation over the phone with Superman, last night I had my work phone shoved in a corner of my living room while I went off to enjoy some brews with my Big Bro as we waited for Tree to catch up with us. {Shameless plug for Funk Brewing in E-town}

As Big Bro pointed out, it's certainly okay that I talk to friends about my work frustrations, but it shouldn't get to the point where I have to do so in order to avoid such outbursts of anguish... the fact that it is infringing upon my happiness in my personal life is clear indication this may simply not be the job for me and that's okay, too. There are other places of employment and perusing until I find a job in which I can use my talents and also enjoy {as well as leave at the office or take home sparingly} seems to be my next step in the next several months...

Life's too short to go raving mad, albeit we're all a bit mad around here...we'll see how crazy I'm willing to be in the hunt for professional satisfaction.

xxx

Looking the part

Happy Ides of March! With the superstitious vibes associated with this day following the assassination of Julius Caesar, as well as the continuation of the disgusting display of campaigning of what social media has dubbed a strong semblance to Hitler....we'll leave it at that and let your imagination run rabid.

Moving on... ^_^

When shit hits the fan, you have to dress to impress {yourself}.

I know I've noticed that if I put a little effort into my attire, I feel more put together and ready to tackle on the world and the worst of the worst at work, especially when going in knowing that I'll be in there a good 12-16hrs.

Tulle & stripes are nice. It's the little things, eh?

And of course, I caved. I'll admit it. I bought a stupid ridiculous confusing selfie stick for outfit pics....needless to say, I failed at my first attempt at utilization. Never the less, I still tried...and there's always my full-length mirror, a $5 snag from Dollar General {woot!}.

I know it seems like I wear this grey striped jumper from the Dublin Penney's {Primark} all too often, and maybe I do have an odd habit of wearing new things a million bazillion times before they're allowed a rest in my closet...I've noticed my IG has quite a few pics with me in this and yes, I have worn it many a times, but I promise I rotate and wash it in-between!

I seriously love this skirt from Shop Priceless - perfect length and can take the typical business attire from drab to fab....eh. You get the idea.

For the annual birthday brunch for Mummy and Nana, I rocked the jeggings with a new mint green tank and my ol' faithful pink pinstripe blazer. Reminiscing about my first few months of blogging and featuring this gem. Going to hold onto this one...

"After all these years?"
"Always."

....see what I did there, Potterheads?

To keep my sanity in check, I treated myself to a simple LBD from Target and made my way to a gig in Lancaster for a lovely little LVC-grad reunion and special acoustic performances by friends and new faces. Feeling preeeeetty fly, I must say. Black clothing has that effect on me...tranquil and looks polished and put together.

The little things in life, such as a favorite, now-seldom-worn, pair of heels on off-hours can sometimes be what brings us back up from the low points in a week.

A glass of Citrus IPA from Funk Brewing, snuggled up in a cozy button-up, certainly helps in bringing up morale at the end of the night, too...

xxx

Packing is the worst.

As much as I love to travel, packing is probably the worst part....aside from unpacking. Excitement builds but I always worry about over-packing or under-packing {I'm not sure which is the worse problem...}.

Naturally, I waited until the utmost last minute to finish packing before rushing out the door early, eager beaver that I am... Surprisingly, my pack was roughly 6-7lbs heading out. Thank goodness, as there is a weight limit with WOW Air, the relatively inexpensive airline with which I flew.

Tree picked me up and we were off to the airport! He kindly offered to take me as he did not have lessons and it proved a lovely catch-up and jam session, listening to the rough mixes for STT's upcoming album. Dayum. The guys only continue to get better and better! >gushing like a proud little sister<

We made a pit stop at Diner 83 en route to BWI, a small treat for his kindness. Omelettes and pancakes for fuel, anticipation mounting as we gained mile after mile towards the departure terminals....holy cow, I was doing it, I was heading to Ireland on my own!

The queue for boarding wasn't too terrible and relatively smooth ride over. Iceland was beautiful from above!! The Northern Lights were dazzling in the skies as we made our way across the Atlantic - no words, no words at all.

Toodle-oooh, Baltimore!

Icelandic beer from among the clouds - not too bad.

From Iceland to Ireland, let's go!

The adventures started upon touchdown at roughly 8:30AM GMT aka 3:30AM back home - my poor Mumsy stayed up for each leg of my journey.

So. Green.

After a brief bus ride to the center of Dublin city {none the worse for wear, surprisingly}, I made my way to the Old Jameson Distillery and discovered I really do not like whiskey. Jameson + ginger ale, tolerable. The tasting room made my stomach churn in all the wrong ways.... I don't know how Lovely acquired such a love for that vile concoction; I can appreciate the history without divulging in any...

Complimentary samples woot woot

From there, off to the Guinness Storehouse! Naturally. I'm in Ireland, so of course I have to take the Guinness tour and pour a perfect pint. FYI: it takes 19.6 seconds to pour the perfect pint from start to finish. I received a certificate saying I'm a pro, so I should know now. >giggle<

Obligatory dork pic.

St. Patrick's Cathedral, Christ Church, so many churches and sites before checking in at the Ashfield House hostel, quick shower, and out for a delicious dinner of fish & chips and trying some local beers. Found a new favorite cider called Orchard Thieves!

>if you have the app Untappd, available on both iTunes & Android, let's be beer-appreciating friends! Handle: g33kandchic<

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Christ Church

Dublin Castle

Ha'penny Bridge

Early start tomorrow with a trip down to Cork to see Cashel Rock and kiss the Blarney Stone!