Days Gone By: An Autumnal Hymn

Another month gone by in the blink of an eye as day after day blurred their lines between work, school, and {some} play. Wishing I had more eloquent words for such the beautiful {and my favorite} month.

Thankfully, I was able to see friends, hang out with kitties, destroy my hair try out a new hair color....or a few....amid the chaos of trying to pack up my life to move in with my favorite person by the end of the month: my sissy.

My iPhone 6 is holding up for the most part, so at least I can provide a highlight of October's song in pictures...

A night on the town with beautiful friends: much needed.

As much as I was digging the lighter locks, my hair was beyond brittle and threatening to snap off {and some even pulled off as I attempted to comb it}. 

A purple-y hue: much better.

When in doubt, get your thigh-highs out. Oxford paired with high-waisted shorts and my trusty thigh-highs for a night of people-watching at the bar.

Mr. Theo was thrilled for one of our last family portraits before he went back to my Gramps.

A breather in between hauling my stuff...new mirror: new selfie.

A housewarming gift to brighten up the new place :)  ...soon eaten and massacred by Loki. 

Loki, settling into our new home. My handsome guy took the move quite well; as more and more things left the old apartment, he had more space to roam around with Theo.

Early birthday gift from sissy, which came in handy for enjoying an ice-cold beer from Hoegaarden. We'll be making use of these!

Birthday adventures soon to come {with more bravado and imaginative narrative}. While I truly am loving school, it does keep me busy and leaves less time for the extracurricular hobbies and sleep.

xxxx

March On.

The end of September meant it was time for alumni band! My Mum has taken over organizing alumni band at CHS since my senior year - 2011 {goodness, I'm getting old!}. It's crazy to think that I've been out for 5 1/2 years now, seeing the group of alumni grow every year.

Despite the rain, another good turnout for my mummy. No matter how much time has passed, the chance to go back to the field is one of nostalgia and typically welcomed.

Class of '54, my Gramps still holds a special place for his Alma Mater in his heart. Here's where it all began.... well, not geographically, but in spirit.

Muscle memory is an incredible phenomenon... no, I did not attempt the 1-turn, but managed to do a thumb-toss and the rest of the routine while keeping in tempo. That's something, right?

Mama caught the booty pop on the field. When in doubt, make weird faces - my life motto it seems.

Overall, an extreme success, I'd say. A large turnout and so much support! I love seeing the love for alumni year after year! Such a great tradition!

Once a Bison, always a Bison.

xxxx

Fleas for Free

Poor fur babies have been exposed to a nasty flea infestation and thus we begin the eradication of the tricksy buggers... They certainly are a pain in the butt!

Mr. Theo has been quite a trooper over his mini vacation with us and Loki has been a dear looking after him and comforting the shy little guy whenever I have company - he's still a bit skiddish around anyone but me.

Baths galore and plenty of flea-combing has been had....and of course, lots of treats for the cooperating doll babies. Miss Athena is also heading to her forever-home and we're already missing her dearly....

Netflix is helping to curb the sting of missing Miss Athena and to cope with the annoyance of the flea termination process... While I know I'll be seeing the little warrior princess quite often, I still can't help but miss waking up to her sweet snuggles in the morning.

xxxx

Social Butterflies

As mentioned several times before, a healthy work-life balance is key to enjoying life while being a productive member of society {and earning a means to pay the bills}.

Luckily, after spending a near eternity during the daylight at work, I was able to escape {and maintain constant contact with my employees} and spend some quality time with lovely people and join in the celebration of a dear friend.

Feeling more confident, I donned the new wrap dress I had purchased upon impulse during a quick stop to the mall after an interview {sadly, I was not asked back} and before I met up with a friend for lunch.

When you feel confident, rock it and it will follow through. Sometimes a new dress is all it takes to keep the nasty comments and vile words of self-doubt at bay inside the confines of the mind.

Foolish me, thinking my thick brows were on point, but I do believe Mr Kiscadden's take the cake on the brow game.

The night on the town in Lancaster proved to be a much needed getaway, a mini reunion of LVC alum, even more familiar faces than the previous party. Granted, anxiety was a tad high as I fervently awaited the arrival of Chelsea and Elliott, but lessened as the night went on - social anxiety is craptastic at times.

Heels, a bold lippy, and a tasteful, yet sultry dress. Pushing the envelope on comfort level, but worth it for the self-wow factor and confidence boost.

Those squats and eating healthier are paying off ;)

xxxx

Job Hunting for the Work Fanatics

September has proven another busy month with the continuation of my MBA degree in term II. Managerial Accounting and Business Analytics are not as terrifying and intimidating as I had first thought, especially after taking the prerequisite module for Business Analytics {I barely passed, which is embarrassing to say}.

Working full-time plus part-time while studying and actively seeking new employment is mentally draining, but you have to be willing to put in the time and effort in order to reap the rewards. Stagnation is not an option for career development and goal-seekers.

Crazy times have meant time for a new 'do to change things up just a tad.

Through my experience in the interviewing and hiring process at work, as well as personal experience with current job-hunting and browsing for tips become evident how crucial one's résumé is for simply getting through the door - it's often the first presentation of who you are and what you can do.

• Résumé Etiquette: Do's and Don't's
• The Perfect Résumé: What You Need to Know to Have One
• Résumé Etiquette: Do's & Don't's for a Modern Résumé

And don't forget to ask questions back - the interview is just about seeing if you are a good fit for that particular employee as you are as a potential employee for that company.

• 10 Interview Questions You Should Ask

Or, you could be like this guy to stand out among the ranks. Everyone needs their own Key Strategic Differentiator {KSD}; it seems like a 4-year degree won't cut it anymore, and so, it's up to the individual to figure out how to shine {and continue to do so once they've been offered, and accepted, the position}.

It can be a bit daunting at times, no joke...

Amidst the chaos of finding my KSD, luckily I have the sweet chickadees at home to provide plenty of snuggles and stress relief. There have been scientific studies granting evidence to lower stress levels and elevated happiness for pet owners. Kittens are certainly gifted at sharing the love.

xxxx

Ex's & Oh's

When it comes to relationships, not everyone can remain on cordial terms with a previous significant other due to the nature of the breakup and/or relationship itself. That being said, I'm at least happy I have maintained friendly acquaintances at least with the guys with whom I was "official," i.e. it was not casual dating, but legit bf/gf labels used.

It's rather strange in that no matter how much time has passed, often the past memories seem as though they were yesterday, a younger version of ourselves remembered as an almost dream-like visionary, quite possibly distorted by our own concept of self rather than reality.

I view friendship as a wondrous thing in life, not to be taken lightly nor to be cast aside so frivolously as a casual summer fling, albeit sometimes we can acquire acquaintances from such when we learn compatibility is simply not there with that individual.

To be in a relationship, remembering how much time and effort was put into it, can take a toll on body and soul when those threads are worn thin, a mere semblance of what it was as the two enter the realm of friendship and leave the romance out of the equation.

It takes a great deal of time {or sometimes not so much} to learn someone's shortcomings and all of the beautifully intricate fibers of their being that it is damn near impossible for them to not leave some sort of etching upon your soul, and you on theirs as well. We learn the good, the bad, and the ugly of someone's character which can often translate well into knowing how they tick as they continue to have you back in the aftermath of a romance that just did not work out.

All relationships, platonic or more, can become life lessons on how we treat others, learn from one another, and also help us grow and learn about ourselves as well.

While some view it as harmful or toxic to be friends with one's ex, I see it as a beautiful thing, provided boundaries are made and kept.

xxxx

Life's a Beach

While not typically a beach-goer, a nice little weekend adventure out of town was just what was needed as a mini break from classes and work, albeit I missed the fur babies while we were away...

We enjoyed a delicious light dinner at Bayfront - as its namesake suggests, it was right at the bay side and offered a sumptuous view of the evening skies and water.

A tad nippy noodles with the light breeze, but an overall gorgeous day for exploring Erie and the Isle, on which my uncle would be running his next marathon. He had lovely weather the following day, unlike Virginia Beach with its low-50 degree weather and 30 mph winds....brrrrrr

I was quite delighted Superman was able to make it out with us this weekend! We were able to meet up with an acquaintance from college and enjoyed a night on the town with Brody who's studying to become a doctor. Good times had all weekend with great people :)

Beach bum life is a desirable temporary lifestyle, if only for a day or two.

This weekend proved monumental in a sense for me - a personal accomplishment. Self-conscious and often with low self-esteem, I went outside of my comfort zone and donned a bikini {in public} for the first time in 3 years. As crazy and silly as it may seem, it was a big deal on a personal level...having been unable to embrace my body for what it is for years, I'm beginning to feel more comfortable in my skin, taking measures of better care are a great way to feel better from the inside-out.

I know, I know, this may seem hokey, but I feel it fully-heartedly. Feeling good and letting it radiate outward. Here's to more self-love :)

Superman pulling handstands!

Like every great adventure, it must come to an end and we must return to reality....after we found our way out of the vampire coven.

The best part of coming home is having kitty snuggles waiting for me <3

xxxx

Makeup 101

At 23, I'm finally beginning to move beyond the basics of makeup.

Walking amide the aisles at Sephora the other day, seeking my favorite mascara {they're real! lengthening mascara by Benefit Cosmetics}, and I simply felt overwhelmed, having never explored much further than mascara, liquid and pencil eyeliner, foundation for spot coverage, cover-up stick for same, and lipstick.

Today I made a big girl purchase of BB Cream, an egg-shaped blending sponge, eyebrow mascara, eyebrow pencil, and some darker highlighting pencil thing {I'll have to check the stick}. Oh, and replenished my liquid eyeliner - wet n wild's black Megaliner as it's super cheap and I go through it so quickly.

Initial thoughts:

• what is so wonderful about this stuff that sounds like Star Wars-themed boo-boo ointment? {BB cream}
• what is all of this stuff?
• I just want to know how to contour
• {multiple educated google searches}
• why do women draw on extra eyebrow hairs? why am I?

Got home, attempted...wasn't terrible.

Future pictures may reveal the slow process of learning how to use them...in lieu of that: kitty pictures. Naturally.

xxxx

Happiness: Not as rare as a Magikarp

Like most fads, PokémonGo seems to slowly be running its course, the hype nearly depleted as players continue to play in silence, halfheartedly.

Admittedly, I'm still seeking to fill my Pokédex - again, halfheartedly.

The cycle of a fad is much like any grandiose change in lifestyles - old habits are not easily forgotten and the new take 21 days to truly sink in. While one can't magically make it a habit after hurling over that 3-week threshold, by then it has begun to become ingrained into the mind as a new habit, hopefully offsetting and taking place of the former.

Little changes are the best way to seek big improvement. Small, seemingly menial twists on the mindset dial can lead to bigger and better {as cliché as that sounds} things.

On a happy, happy note:

Seeing friends is well worth every second of insanity and squeezing in as much homework and work so I can truly enjoy the company of lovely people.

Paradrei kicked butt once again at the Angel's Rock Bar in Baltimore and mini reunion with the ever so lovely Anna!

Free tacos, great friends, good ol' rock 'n' roll : why we need that work/life balance.

xxxx

Support Squad

Taking on the tribulations of the world alone is something not even Batman can do - he has the help of cheeky Alfred to keep him grounded and the Batmobile well maintained.

I'm thankful for the love and support of friends and family by my side who are there to celebrate the moments that need celebrated, grieve in times of mourning, offer a listening ear and wise words, and kick my a$$ when they suspect my path turning dark.

Mummy sent some goodies to feed my belly, Thank You notes for future interviews, goodies for Superman, and of course, it was all packed neatly into Loki and Athena's new jungle gym.

After being in a fog, mind befuddled by the effort of tryiing not to drown in the inept feelings I had of myself and the seemingly impossibly large bite of life I was attempting to chew and swallow, being challenged by a person in authority was potentially the shock I needed to shake me to my senses.

Depression hurts. Mentally, physically, emotionally. The one depressed is not the only one affected, but the ones surrounding the afflicted can be the catalysts of change, offering their kind hearts to help build the ladder out of the hole. Granted, it will take time, but it's time I'm willing to invest for happiness.

The BBL {Big Boss Lady} is back. For my fellow BBL's, enjoy a few laughs from this "advice" comic for women leadership then continue to do what you do best: kicking butt and paving the way for the next wave of women leaders.

While we can't remove all of the negativity from our lives, little changes will quickly add up. Looking at the bigger picture is opening my eyes again. I can do this.

• 8/18 - bought my last Monster and it's been in the fridge ever since
• 8/24 - back on the LoseIt! App to hold myself accountable
• Ordered my first regimen of Rodan + Fields unblemish

New hair always ensures a mood boost and this darker, Merlot-colored mop is signifying a new beginning for my psyche.

While I'm not completely depriving myself of the "bad" stuff, aka the finer things in life, everything in moderation is going to be a new mantra, something with which I've had issues before. Finding ways to enjoy yummy beer while regaining that happy little 6-pack I used to have and of which I have only been able to maintain about a 1/3...

Cheers to the little happies in the world and the small changes to continuous improvement {business terms applying themselves to life}. And here's to completing my first term of MBA courses! 10 courses to go!

And, as always, my sidekicks keep me company while I try to figure out the puzzle of life.

xxxx

Dating 101: Trust Essentials

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether that be with family, friends, significant other, and especially one's hairdresser.

With the drop of a few words or hidden pictures found through unkind ways with pure intentions, or unspoken plans later revealed, feelings can get hurt and emotions run rampart. When you love someone, it does not have to be unconditionally. There can be boundaries, there can be common courtesy rules, and one can have expectations.

Relationships should be a mixture of independence and co-dependence in the sense that each party should feel they are their own, unique individual capable of tackling the world one day at a time on their own terms, but having the love and support from the other for those moments of weakness or when a little reassurance that everything will be okay is needed. Each should complement the other half, not overbear or attempt to cage a free spirit.

Self-love, a difficult and taboo subject for me, is just as important as loving another. Without that ingredient, it's difficult to establish the mutual respect required between two parties. Fully appreciating oneself is just as crucial as appreciating the lovely people in one's life. Standing up for your heart is not the same as being combative or overbearing, but something that can strengthen the ties and help ensure both sides are happy, giving and receiving the love they deserve and crave.

Bottling it up won't help the situation even if it seems the easy way out.

Cats' love is pretty simple: they frolic about and alternate between grooming and kicking one another in the face, sometimes simultaneously. At the end of the day, the biting stops and they're love bugs and sometimes my sweethearts let me in on the snugs.

Understandably, human relationships are more complex, but I feel we make them unnecessarily so in comparison to fur babies. Case in point: I give Loki noms, and he gives me cuddles, win-win and I only receive the occasional bite to the face to remind me who's really in charge. I'm digging that kind of simplistic love because it works and doesn't leave a tear nor doubt.

When all else fails, coming home to kitty snuggles is never sad nor lonely.

A smile and new septum ring arriving in time for a good night with friends sure isn't sad nor lonely either :)

xxxx

Funktown

Two beautiful kittens, Loki and Athena, and Mr. Theo safe in the loving hands of my kitty whispurrrer Gramps...these snuggle bugs are what keep me going lately and also provide the snuggling distraction from life's more unpleasant aspects {or from doing homework for a few minutes}.

Tonight I completed my first MBA course, the Legal Environment of Business, which was a particularly fascinating class to me having enjoyed Business Law so much and find the legalities of business, both domestic and foreign, rather interesting. Despite this feeling of accomplishment, the excitement seemed to be diminished as my motivation continues to deteriorate.

School has provided a positive stressor as I strive to do my best, knowing the classes will be enjoyable and applicable, and that it's a major stepping stone in my career. With multiple job applications in the pot on the chance of a happier work environment, even if it comes with a smaller paycheck, I'm pushing myself to believe that it will work out, that I won't be stuck due to circumstances.

Trust me, if financially feasible, I'd love to drop it all after using up my PTO and simply disappear, traveling the US with Loki bear in my front seat and the majority of my stuff either sold or in storage. C'est la vie, non?

I want to find that inner wild child again...I have not seen that carefree, gung-ho girl in a while or she remains dormant for the majority of the time, only coming out on special occasions. I find I hardly know myself anymore and it makes me want to crawl deeper inside the cocoon of inner sanctuary I've begun to build up again to keep the bad {and some good, too} out.

With so many happy things going well in my life, it's still difficult to fully appreciate these beautiful moving parts as I should because I'm sucked down in the mud by my own inhibitions and worrisome thoughts. Depression often does not allow one to put things into perspective as the average cognitive mind may...instead, the depressed are all too acute to the surroundings and negative cues of what is going and may go wrong.

However, while depression may come in phases, more prominent in certain moments and weakened demons depending on who is around, it is not something that cannot be overcome again and again. On that same token, the taboo of depression is not so readily discussed nor understood.

The will to happiness can be a strong one.

As Albus Dumbledore {J.K. Rowling, mind you} said:

Happiness can be found, if only it remembers to turn on the light.

xxx 

Self-Love & Kitten Snuggles

A blank canvas.

This is how every blog post begins as I sometimes struggle to put thought to fingers to Blogger.

Self-love has been a prevalent topic for me lately as I struggle to find that balance, among other juggling acts I'm holding down. It's easy to get down in the dumps when sh*t starts to hit the fan or life's responsibilities are bottle-necking for priority to be tackled.

The mirror still holds its status as arch-nemesis with my own mind standing firm as enemy #1 - the saying goes that we're our own worst critic and I agree this rings pretty true, yet we can also be our own cheerleader and motivator to push through the hardships and overwhelming times.

Tackling one problem at a time seems to be a dogmatic way to address the issues of today and show up the demons of the past that you is kind, you is smart, you is important.

Fred + Far is a company taking hold of the niche market of those needing a little pick-me-up in the self-love department by offering a pinky ring, a self-engagement aaaaand I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued. With a price tag of $150-325 {free shipping with purchases of $300 or more!}, it's a reasonable price for some major bling.

Realizing I'm constantly tired {and after reading this lovely article} has made me more aware of how important it is to maintain that self-love and continuous improvement to find and retain that internal happiness.

The fur sweethearts definitely help in that department as well. Kitty snuggles are the best part of coming home!!

More importantly, in the end:

Fred + Far

xxxx